Sucker The Vampire

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Working as henchman to the lead singer of the vampire rock group "Plasma", Reed Buccholz's [Mex Erkiletian] job has definite high points, like finding sexy girls to bring home for Anthony [Yan Birch] and being able to photograph and have sex with their blood-drained bodies prior to disposing of them in the morgue of the hospital where Reed holds a daytime job as a nurse. Vampire hunter Vanessa Helsing [Monica Baber] has dedicated her life to destroying vampires, in particular Anthony, the vampire who killed her famous father. So far, she has managed to destroy Seth and Tobin, the band's lead guitarist and drummer, but she hasn't gotten to Anthony yet.

One day, Vanessa runs into Reed at the hospital. Recognizing him as Anthony's manager, she follows him to Anthony's house. Fortunately for Anthony, he hears Vanessa sneaking around and lays a trap for her. With her dying breath, Vanessa instructs Anthony to look in her backpack where he finds a bottle of AZT pills, a medication used to fight the AIDS virus. Worried that he might have contacted AIDS from Vanessa's blood, Anthony asks Reed to get him a blood test. It comes back positive...a real blow for Anthony, who sinks into a grand depression. He feels even worse when Lenore [ P.K. Phillips], his maker, explains how he will slowly waste away until someone finds his bald, shriveled body and pronounces him dead (no heartbeat), and he is buried alive to live the rest of his life in the dark with the worms gnawing on him.

After delivering that pleasant news, Lenore pays a visit to Vanessa, who is just awakening as a vampire. What Vanessa forgot, Lenore explains, is that she was bitten by both Seth and Tobin, making Anthony her third biter. Now Vanessa is one of them. Her only recourse is to kill Anthony, and reverse the curse. Vanessa attempts to destroy Anthony, but Reed intervenes and kills Vanessa. They store her body in the guest coffin until such time as they can bury it.

Before he dies, Anthony has but one request -- to go sailing on Reed's boat. The boys have a great evening, Anthony playing captain, and Reed learning a thing or two about sailing. After their night on the water, Anthony sits out in the morning sun and kills himself, much to Reed's sorrow.

Worried that he might also have contacted AIDS, Reed has had his blood tested, too. It came up negative, but the scare is enough to turn him off to necrophilia. Instead, he turns down a job working as Lenore's renfield and asks Beth [Colleen Moore] (a lab technican with a crush on him) to quit her job and go sailing around the world with him on his boat. Beth agrees, and the two of them go off together, arm in arm, singing, "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight..."

(Original Synopsis by bj_kuehl)

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